


Happiness is

by edgarallanrose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (whoa whoa whoa feelings), 14x08 coda, Bottoming from the Top, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Episode: s14e08 Byzantium, Feelings, M/M, Sad Porn, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, idk but it's very on brand for me, there's perhaps a sad tone to the porn?, well the porn itself isn't sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 06:31:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16948794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edgarallanrose/pseuds/edgarallanrose
Summary: Dean didn’t want Cas to leave now that he had done what he came for. Dean felt drained, but he also didn’t feel like he could sleep. The last few days had been a complete whirlwind of emotions, both good and bad, and he just didn’t want to be alone with his feelings. He tried to express all of this in the way he placed a hand on Cas’ thigh, squeezing gently.Episode Coda for 14x08: Byzantium





	Happiness is

**Author's Note:**

> Heeeey spn fam, long time no...words. Please know that I have sorely missed writing episode codas for this season thus far, but ya know, school, life, etc. However, I am BACK and have hope that my schedule should allow more of these in the future! That being said, my destiel writing skills were REAL rusty, but it was nice to get back with these boys <3
> 
> Also, I went back and forth on whether or not to mark this as Explicit or Mature. It feels Mature to me, because while sexytimes are definitely happening I skim over a lot of gory details, but I am marking it as Explicit just to be safe.
> 
> Unbeta'd, spoilers for 14x08

Dean had never cooked a better burger in his life.

He had splurged and bought the nice ground beef (fresh from the deli, never frozen), but it probably had more to do with who he was eating it with – his family, complete again with Jack sitting across from him at their little kitchen table.

It was nice that it could just be the four of them. The bunker was quieter than it had been in weeks. Most of the other refugee hunters were scattered to the four corners on hunts of their own.

They laughed, they drank beer, Cas even finished half of his burger before giving the rest to Dean.

Dean eventually started collecting dishes off the table and pans off the stove and put them in the sink. He turned on the hot water tap, letting it run so the water could heat up. Sam dragged Cas out of the room with the mention of wanting to show him something on his laptop. Jack brought the remainder of the dishes over to Dean and set them beside the sink.

“I can help with that,” Jack offered, reaching for a sponge, but Dean batted him away.

“Not tonight. I think you’ve earned a night off from dish duty.”

“I really am feeling better.”

“I believe you,” Dean said. “All I’m saying is you’re gonna want to learn how to milk the ‘I recently died’ card for as long as you can. It barely works for me on Cas anymore, but Sam is always a sucker. I bet Cas will make an exception for you, though.”

“So, I use the fact that you briefly had to mourn my death in order to get out of stuff? Or get my way?”

“Exactly.”

“That seems manipulative.”

“Oh, it is.”

“In that case…” Jack thought for a moment, cocking his head to the side, “I’d like to remind you that I _still_ have never seen Vegas, Dean.”

“Now you’re getting it,” Dean laughed, reaching out to pull Jack in for a side-hug. “We will go to Vegas. Soon, I promise. But for now, get on to bed. We need to make sure your body gets a break after all the shit it’s been through.”

“Yeah, alright,” Jack said, stifling a yawn. Jack shuffled out of the kitchen, Dean’s dead-guy robe still hanging off his shoulders.

“G’night, kid.”

“Night, Dad—Dean. Goodnight, Dean.”

Dean snapped his head around, but Jack had already left the kitchen.

\---

Dean finally went to turn in for the night, only to find Cas seated on the edge of his bed. Cas was scrolling through his phone and barely looked up as Dean closed the door behind him.

“What did Sam want to show you?” Dean asked, removing his watch and setting it on his nightstand before taking off his plaid button-up. He smelled the armpits of the shirt and shrugged. Still decent. He tossed the shirt aside to wear another day.

“It was a cute dog video compilation,” Cas said. “The owners put a sheet in front of themselves as the dogs watch, then they disappear, and the dogs go to look for them. I had him send it to me, so I could show you.”

“Okay, let me just finish getting ready for bed first.”

Dean shucked off his jeans and threw them alongside his shirt, leaving on his t-shirt and boxers. As Dean walked over to the sink to grab his toothbrush, he said, “Jack accidentally called me Dad just now, in the kitchen.”

“I don’t know how much of an accident it was,” Cas said, looking up from his phone and making eye contact with Dean in the mirror over his sink. “He does think of you that way, you know. The same way we consider him a son. A little while ago I overheard someone ask him if I was his dad, and he said ‘yes, one of them.’”

“One of them,” Dean snickered, mouth full of toothpaste. “Kid has more dads than he knows what to do with.”

“I think it’s nice.”

“It is.” Dean spat in the sink, rinsed and gargled, then wiped his mouth on his sleeve. “Alright, let’s see these dogs.”

Their thighs pressed together as they watched the video which was, in fact, very cute.

“Jack would like that, too.”

“I’ll show him in the morning.”

Dean leaned his body into Cas’, put his chin on his shoulder. Cas let his head fall to the side to rest against the top of Dean’s.

“What are you thinking about?” Cas asked.

“In the very few times I’ve ever allowed myself to daydream about starting a family, having kids, I always wanted daughters. I felt like I wouldn’t know what to do with a son. Or, I’d only know exactly what not to do. I didn’t want a repeat of the way Sam and I were raised. Hell, I’m the one who raised Sam. Poor son of a bitch deserved better.”

“And yet Sam is a very good hunter, and an even better man.” Cas shifted their position, looking Dean in the eyes. “You’re doing a great job with Jack.”

“So are you.”

Dean didn’t want Cas to leave now that he had done what he came for. Dean felt drained, but he also didn’t feel like he could sleep. The last few days had been a complete whirlwind of emotions, both good and bad, and he just didn’t want to be alone with his feelings. He tried to express all of this in the way he placed a hand on Cas’ thigh, squeezing gently.

Thankfully, Cas got the hint and started to remove his trench coat. Dean reached up to undo his tie, then slowly unbutton his shirt. Cas pushed his hands away, leaned in, and kissed him.

God, Dean could never get tired of Castiel’s mouth. They didn’t really do this often, never thought to put a name to what it was they did, but every time Dean was able get his hands on Cas’ skin, feel his stubble burn against his lips, it felt as natural as breathing air.

Cas leaned deeper into the kiss, placing one hand firmly on Dean’s thigh and the other on the back of his head. Dean tugged the tails of Cas’ shirt out of his slacks, taking it the rest of the way off as Cas started kissing along his jaw, down his neck. Before Dean even had to ask, Cas slid his hand up his thigh to his groin, then palmed over his boxers.

Sometimes, Dean was pretty sure Cas still read minds.

Dean moaned, and Cas pressed him back into the mattress, replacing his hand with his own thigh so Dean had to do most of the work, grinding up into him while Cas kept kissing and sucking at his neck.

If there wasn’t a bruise there in the morning, Dean would be sorely disappointed.

“What you want, Dean?” Cas asked, voice rough and slightly muffled.

“You,” Dean managed to pant out.

Cas smiled against the base of his throat, softly kissed him there. “What do you need?”

“Need you inside me. But I wanna be on top.”

“I think I can work with that.”

Cas flipped them over, scooting up the bed so his head could rest against the pillows and pulling Dean onto his lap. Dean pulled his shirt off and reached down to unbuckle the belt Cas was still wearing, fumbling a bit in his haste to get the damn thing off. Cas had a full grin on his face at this point, enjoying watching Dean desperately try to undress him. Dean shoved his hand down the front of Cas’ boxers and Cas’ grin dissolved into a soft, “oh.”

At some point Cas managed to toss Dean the lube so he could prep himself. He kept his other hand on Cas the whole time, mostly teasing, light stokes, the occasional press of a thumb.

Dean’s knees may have popped a few times as he straddled Cas and tried to situate himself, but finally sinking down on him felt like the easiest thing in the world.

Dean liked to think he had matured, kicked a lot of old habits, but there was just something to be said about the reaffirmation of life through sex. After losing Jack, albeit temporarily, Dean had been aching for someone to fuck the feeling back into him. For someone to let him take what he needed and give it back just as hard. For someone to know him, feel him, remind him that he wasn’t dead yet. For someone –

No, not someone. Just Cas.

Just Cas.

“Cas,” Dean groaned as he came. Cas sat up and swallowed the moan with his own mouth, dipping his tongue past Dean’s teeth as he stroked him through the aftershocks. Cas’ hips stilled, pressed right up against him, and he pulled Dean into a tight embrace while both of their breathing calmed.

Eventually they peeled away from each other, got under the sheets, and melded right back together. Dean held Cas in his arms, his hand wrapped around Cas’ bicep. Cas was relaxed against him, occasionally tracing patterns over his ribs with his fingertips. Maybe drawing out invisible enochian sigils, maybe no conscious pattern at all. Dean let out a long sigh.

“How are you feeling?” Cas asked.

Dean didn’t know if he meant physically or emotionally, but right now it was really one and the same.

“Good. Happy.”

“Me too,” Cas said. “You make me happy.”

Cas froze as he spoke and sat up straight, as if shocked. He swung his legs over the bed and started to retrieve his clothes.

“You’re not gonna stay?” Dean tried not to sound hurt, but also Cas wouldn’t look him in the eye.

“I…I want to check on Jack.” It sounded like a lie, but it wasn’t something Dean could argue with either.

“Okay, well, come back when you’re done?”

Cas huffed a laugh as he slid his arms through the sleeves of his shirt. “You used to hate it when I watched over you while you slept.”

“Eh, things change.”

“I’ll come back, I promise.” Cas did look at him then, his eyes kind, but sad. “Try and sleep, Dean.”

And then Dean was alone. Alone with nothing but his thoughts and dirty sheets.

He started to doze with vague ideas of talking to Cas in the morning. He would ask him what he really wanted, ask if he really wanted _Dean_ the same way that Dean desperately wanted him.

Maybe it was time they finally allowed themselves to be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> ccAt the end of the episode I made myself sad with the thought, "What if the moment Cas allows himself to truly be happy is when he lets himself love and be loved by Dean? And THAT'S when the Empty comes to take him?" And then I thought, "Cool coolcoolcoolcool wtf is wrong with you why would you let yourself think this" and now I am sharing that pain with all of you!
> 
> To distract you from the pain that I have possibly inflicted, here is the [dog video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igh6oADvxjg) Cas was talking about.
> 
> If you feel strongly about liking and/or sharing this fic on tumblr, you may do so [here](http://edgarallanrose.tumblr.com/post/181026575335/happiness-is-edgarallanrose-supernatural), or just come over and say hi to me before tumblr implodes into nothingness! 
> 
> It's good to be back, friends <3


End file.
